Since I’m already in a club on Facebook that officially despises people that barge in front of fast walkers on a pavement in the street, just to walk slow, I thought I’d get my revenge on people who do this in a SWIMMING POOL.

In a certain Birmingham City Centre Gym with a red company colour that shall not be named, I, the fastest longest swimmer at the gym, am constantly interrupted by guys with egos that fills the gap where their brain should be. They wait until I get to the edge, just before I tumble turn, before they are off, breast stroking their little hearts out – for one length. Others, wildly thrash about either in front of me or in the lane next to me.

You all know who you are, so if you feel like you need to prove yourself, at least use me to do that when you’re fast and fit enough! God!